Do you feel stuck in your current social circles, or want to improve certain friendships or make new ones? You’re not alone; in fact, when we start focusing on personal development it’s quite common to feel this way. Often as we grow in our self-awareness, or identify the beliefs or behaviors holding us back, we also start to notice how similar patterns may apply to our friends, and many people turn to coaching to find more satisfaction in their friendships or create a deeper sense of community.
Maybe you’ve heard from the self-help world that “You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with”. While this may be true, it’s also true that our closest friends are often not people we chose intentionally, but people we have history with, whose paths just happened to cross with ours. We may have met in school, in childhood, in some organized activity, etc, and as we grow over time, we may find ourselves getting less satisfaction from certain friendships than we once did.
Everyone has different barriers to uncover as to why they aren’t feeling as good with a certain friendship, or why they find it difficult to make new friends. Maybe meeting new people feels too hard or outside of our control. Maybe we don’t feel we have the emotional energy to invest in a new potential friendship that might not work out. Whatever your challenge, a coach can help you identify your specific needs and blocks, and create a game plan to address the challenge together.
Your coach can also help remind you that deep, lasting friendships are one of the key ingredients to a happy life (as numerous studies have proven). Maybe you consistenly let career or family obligations impinge on your social time. Your coach can help you balance competing priorities to make sure you don’t let meaningful friendships fall by the wayside, or figure out how to find time to forge new connections.
One process may look something like this: first, your coach will help you define what a deep fulfilling friendship looks like to you. How do you want to feel when you interact with good friends? What types of conversations do you have? What activities do you enjoy together? Then your coach can help you determine whether you can improve these things in current relationships, or if you need to bring new friends into your life. Sometimes the right approach is a combination of both. In fact, many of our clients are surprised by how much their current relationships were improved by simply having a third party give them an objective opinion of what might be preventing them from feeling satisfied with the friendship.
Working on your current friendships may include deepening skills that can help in other areas of life as well (such improving active listening abilities, or setting healthier boundaries), and sometimes you may discover that a current relationship can’t be improved and make a plan to create meaningful new friendships. In this case, your coach can help you figure out what has prevented you from making new friends up until now. Maybe it’s hard for you to confidently approach new people; maybe you find it easy to form superficial friendships, but difficult to deepen them over time; or maybe you simply haven’t been able to make the time in your busy schedule to prioritize creating a fulfilling social life. Whatever your blocks, a good coach will help you understand and create a step by step plan to overcome them.
We invite you to join thousands of clients who have used us to improve the quality of their friendships, find new friends and boost their overall wellbeing. As always, we’re here if you have any questions.
The LiveCoach Team